My Version of Breaking Dawn
Chapter 6: Jealousy
"Alright, what are we going to do?" I asked.
I looked around at the Cullens, everyone having different reactions as we discussed me becoming a vampire. Carlisle seemed lost in thought. Esme seemed slightly worried. Emmett had a big grin on his face. Jasper seemed to have no emotion at all. Alice looked excited. And Rosalie…Rosalie looked as if she was trying to scream at me with her expressions only. I turned away quickly and looked at Edward instead. But that was the wrong place to look. He too was lost in thought, but his expression was pained. I looked at Carlisle as he lifted his head.
"We won't be able to stay here, of course. We'll have to leave. Now…Bella," Carlisle looked directly to me. "Charlie thinks you are going to Alaska to go to the university there, is that correct?"
"Yes." I answered.
"Well, we can go there," Esme said, "we can go to Alaska. Maybe Tanya and her family will let us stay with them for a while."
"Not for too long. Remember when we lived with them before? People started to get suspicious. And now our family has grown." Edward said.
"Yes, not too long. Maybe just until we've found a place to settle down." Carlisle said.
I felt bad as the Cullens stood here in their house discussing how they were going to leave because of me. If it weren't for me, they wouldn't be expecting a visit from the Volturi and the treaty between the werewolves and the vampires would not be on the edge of being broken.
"But one more thing. It will also look suspicious if we all leave together. If Edward and Bella are going to college, it would look strange if the rest of us went with them." Carlisle pointed out.
"Maybe," Jasper started, "Maybe Edward and Bella can go first. Then later we catch up to them, saying we're moving somewhere else. But we go to Alaska instead."
"That's a good idea," Alice said. Then she closed her eyes. Then they opened almost as soon as she had closed them, "It'll work. No one will get suspicious."
"Alright then. Once we're in Alaska, Edward can change Bella."
Edward stiffened next to me. I turned to him. His face still looked pained.
"You promised." I whispered.
Edward sighed, "I know. How soon?" Edward asked Carlisle.
"As soon as you and Bella are ready." Carlisle replied.
"Bella?" Edward turned to me.
I didn't answer right away.
I had married Edward. I had given Charlie the warning he wanted. Charlie had been asking if Edward and I were still going to go to college together. I had told him yes, but I hadn't told him when. But my birthday was coming soon. It seemed that the closer it came, the faster time went. Perhaps I should tell Charlie tonight.
"I'll tell Charlie tonight. We can leave in a couple days." I finally answered.
Edward was silent as we got in his car. He didn't relax, he remained tense. He drove the car down the long, curving, driveway away from the Cullens house. When we were almost to Charlie's house, I broke the silence.
"How am I going to tell him?" I whispered.
"All you have to tell him is that we've decided to go to college together." His voice was empty, no emotion. Then we reached the house and he parked the car. Neither of us spoke. I felt terrified as we walked into the house. How could I keep myself in one piece as I told Charlie I would be leaving, knowing just how permanent the separation would be?
"Bella? Is that you?" Charlie called from the family room when we were inside.
"Yeah, Dad. It's me." Now my voice was empty.
Charlie entered, looking concerned. Probably because of how lifeless my voice sounded.
"What is it, Bella?" Charlie asked.
I took a deep breath.
"Dad, Edward and I have decided that we want to go to college together, to the University of Alaska." I whispered.
Charlie froze, shock on his face. But just for a moment, he then replaced the shock with a smile.
"That's great, Bella. But, you don't seem very happy about that. Is something wrong?" He glanced at Edward and then back at me.
"I'm fine," I lied, "It's just that I feel bad about leaving you here alone."
"Don't worry about me, Bells. I took care of myself for sixteen years before you moved here with me. And you're growing up. I knew you would move out eventually. And, besides, it's just college. It doesn't last forever, and you'll come back and visit."
I didn't say anything. Charlie walked over to me and hugged me.
"It'll be alright, Bells. And you don't have to go if you don't want to." I felt his head turn as he glanced at Edward again. Then he released me.
"I do want to go. It's just that I'll miss you." I said, still whispering.
It was quiet for a while. Then Edward spoke.
"It's getting late, I better get going," He said. He kissed me on the forehead; "I'll see you later." He said before walking out the door.
I looked out the window and watched him leave in his silver Volvo, knowing that he would be back tonight after Charlie was asleep. When Edward was gone, I headed for the stairs to my room.
"Don't you want to call Renee and tell her the news?" Charlie asked from behind me. I turned to him.
"It's late. She'll be asleep by now. I'll call her in the morning." I said. Then I went upstairs as Charlie returned to the family room.
I went in my room to grab my stuff before heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I fumbled around for the light switch in my dark room so I could see. I flipped the switch when I found it and the light went on.
I gasped when I saw that I wasn't alone.
Rosalie turned to face me; her expression on her beautiful face hadn't changed since I had left the Cullens house.
"Bella." She greeted me, her voice cold. A shiver ran down my spine.
"Hey, Rosalie." I said, trying to sound pleased.
"I need to talk to you." She said, her tone sharp.
"What is it?" I asked, though I already knew what she was going to say.
"Did you remember anything I told you?"
"Have you considered anything I said?"
"Have you?" She asked again.
"Yes, Rosalie. But this is what I want. I want to be with Edward for eternity."
"Yes, I know that's what you want now. But have you thought about what you will want in the future? In the future you may be wishing that you stayed human. This is a permanent thing, Bella. I thought I had been clear before, but apparently I wasn't clear enough. You can't do this, Bella. You are throwing your whole future away! You can't do this!"
"My future isn't a future at all without Edward. There is no other way."
"Yes there is. I'm not saying you can't stay with Edward, just stay human. I'm not trying to get rid of you, Bella. I'm just trying to protect you from making the wrong decision."
"What about the Volturi?" I was getting mad now. Couldn't she see that there was no changing my mind? "They'll kill me if I stay human."
"Edward has had other idea's about how to deal with the Volturi." She frowned. I knew she didn't approve of his plan. Neither did I.
"You really think I'm going to let Edward risk his life protecting me while I stay human? No, Rosalie, I'm not staying human. I've decided to become one of you, and there is no way you can change my mind."
"Please, Bella, reconsider." She whispered.
"No, Rosalie." I said, my voice getting louder. I knew she was trying to protect me, but couldn't she understand? One way or another, my human life would have to end.
Suddenly, Rosalie disappeared. Then I heard the door open behind me.
"Are you alright, Bella? I heard voices. Is someone here?" Charlie asked.
I turned to him, "No, Dad. I'm just getting ready for bed." I grabbed my pair of pajamas off the floor.
"Alright," He said looking around the room suspiciously, "Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Bella."
"'Night, Dad." I said as he closed the door behind him.
I turned around expecting Rosalie to be back, but the room was empty. I sighed and grabbed my stuff and walked across the hall to the bathroom.
As I brushed my teeth and got into my pajamas I thought about what Rosalie said. I knew it would be permanent, I knew I would be leaving a lot behind. But did I have a choice? If I didn't become a vampire, the Volturi would kill me. But if I did, I would never again see Charlie, Renee, my friends, Jacob.
Jacob, if I did turn into a vampire, he and his werewolf pack would have to kill my family and I if they ever saw us again.
The thought of Jacob made me feel frustrated. I had tried to call him; but he either never answered, or Billy said he wasn't there, which I didn't know if Billy was telling the truth or not. Eventually, I had given up trying to reach him.
But my friends and family were the reason I had to leave, because, whether I was a vampire or human, I would put everyone in danger. Anyone near me would be at constant risk. I was a danger magnet. Leaving was the only choice I had, the only way to keep everyone I loved from getting hurt.
After I was ready for bed, I walked into my room. For some reason, I had expected Rosalie to be there. So when I saw Edward in my room instead of Rosalie, I jumped.
Edward sat up off my bed and walked over to me. He put his arms around me.
"Sorry, did I frighten you?" He asked.
"No, it's just that I had been expecting…" I stopped. Would it be okay to tell him? I didn't know.
"Rosalie." He finished for me.
"I ran into her on my way here. Literally." He smiled as he, I guessed, remembered colliding into Rosalie as they ran at vampire speed in opposite directions.
"You aren't mad at her, are you? She was just trying to help." I defended her. I didn't want to make any discord in his family over something so silly.
"No, I'm not mad. Though, from her thoughts, it seems she did make you upset. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I lied.
"Bella, you're not a very good liar."
"Well, it's just that she's right, about one thing anyway. I will be leaving a lot behind. But that's why I have to be changed, that's why I have to leave. Because, as long as I stay here, I'm putting everyone I care about in danger. Leaving is my only option. And, while I'm at it, I might as well get one thing I want. You," I leaned my head against his chest, "For eternity."
"Bella, I'm not going to change you if this is just to make everyone else happy. Only if it's what you want. I'm not going to force you into this." Edward said.
"I want you to change me, I'll just miss my parents and my friends."
Edward gently pushed me off his chest so that I could see his topaz eyes. He kept his hands on my shoulders.
"This is not going to turn into a choice between me and your family. I'm yours as long as you want me, no matter where you are, whether you're a vampire or a human, I'm yours."
"I know that. But there is no choice to make. You are my family," I showed him the ring on my fourth finger on my left hand as proof, "The only thing I want more than you is you for eternity."
"Just remember, you don't have to do this."
"Don't worry, I won't forget." I said. I closed my eyes and laid my head against his chest again, inhaling the scent of his shirt.
"Alright, it's time for you to sleep." Edward said.
"I don't want to sleep." I complained. I grabbed at his shirt as if trying to hold myself there. Not that it helped. He picked me up and carried me over to my bed.
"You need to rest. I won't leave." He said as he laid me down on my bed. He gave me a quick kiss and then lay next to me, placing the covers between him and me so I couldn't feel his cold skin, and started singing my lullaby again. Soon I fell asleep.
I felt tears drip down my face as I hugged my Dad for the last time. We were at the airport; Edward and I were about to go to Alaska where I would spend my last human moments before he changed me. This would be the last time I would see Charlie. I had already said goodbye to Renee over the phone. She hadn't been able to come see me off because it was so soon, and she couldn't get a plane ticket. That was fine, I didn't want her to see how I cried when I heard her voice for the last time.
"Bella, you don't have to go if you don't want to." Charlie reminded me.
"I know," I glanced at Edward, his face was empty of emotion again, and then looked back at Charlie, "But I want to go."
"It'll be fine, Bells. It's just college. It's not like we'll never see each other again."
I couldn't stop the fresh flow of tears that came. Charlie hugged me one more time.
"It'll be fine, Bells, It'll be fine." He chanted in my ear. Then he released me.
"Your plane's about to leave. You best get going." He said.
I looked at his face; he gave me a weak smile.
"I love you, Dad." I said.
"I love you, too, Bella."
"Bye." I whispered as I backed way.
"Bye, Honey. See you at Christmas time!" He said as he waved goodbye.
I didn't say anything. I turned away and almost ran to the terminal with Edward beside me. I didn't look back, incase my will power to get on the plane faltered.
When we were on the plane, I waited impatiently for take off. I suddenly wanted all of this to be over, to get the hard stuff over with and then be with Edward forever. But my impatience wasn't enough to keep the pain of loss away. It wasn't as bad as when Edward had left, but it was still bad. How many times would I have to suffer this kind of pain? How many times would I have to go through this? Would there never be an end?
I tried to distract myself from the pain by thinking of something else. How would I get Edward to leave me during the three days it would take for me to transform? It was hard to get Edward to leave me during a normal day, not that I minded, but how would I get him to leave me when I needed him most? When I was in pain, screaming and twisting in agony, I shuddered. But I knew that it would hurt Edward to see me like that, especially when he knew that he had been the one to bite me. I couldn't let him go through that, no matter how much my selfish self wanted him to stay. Maybe I would talk to Alice…?
Finally the plane took off. When we were able to take our seatbelts off, I took mine off so I could lean against Edward. He wrapped his cold arms around me. I didn't look at his face, afraid of what I might find there. I continued to think of ways to get Edward away from me for three days when I was unable to do anything about it.
The next thing I knew, I felt Edward kiss the top of my head and then gently shake me.
"Time to wake up, sleeping beauty, we're here."
"Oh." I said as I opened my eyes.
I had fallen asleep. Everyone was walking past us to the door.
It was freezing as we exited the plane; the sky was gray and cloudy. I shivered from the cold, wanting to kick myself for leaving my jacket in my suitcase. Edward, who had not forgotten his jacket, took his off and put it on me. I knew the cold wouldn't bother him, so I didn't object.
Edward didn't have his silver Volvo, the rest of the Cullens would bring it with them, somehow; so we had to ride in a shuttle. As we got in, I suddenly remembered we were going to Tanya's family's house.
"What is Tanya's family like?" I whispered so that the driver couldn't hear us.
"Well, they're like us. They don't drink human blood. Remember?" He whispered back.
"Yeah, I know that. But, I mean, what are they like…?" I struggled to find the right words, "Are they nice or, uh, you know."
"Their nice," He seemed hesitant, "There's not much to tell."
I felt like there was something he was trying to keep from me. I racked my brain for everything he had ever told me about Tanya's family. They were all 'vegetarians' as they called themselves, only drinking animal blood. I remembered how Rosalie had said that there were a lot of females in the clan, how Edward had not shown any preference to any of them when they lived with them in Denali. Though nothing had happened, it had still bothered me. Maybe Edward was trying not to remind me of that conversation I had with him. Then I remembered how Tanya's family wouldn't come help the Cullens fight the newborn vampires from Seattle because the werewolves had killed Laurent, who had been in James and Victoria's group. When James and Victoria had started hunting me, Laurent had gone up to visit Tanya's family. Irina, a member of Tanya's family, had grown very close to him. When the werewolves killed him, she said they would help the Cullens in return for permission to attack the werewolf pack. The Cullens had refused, and weren't on very good terms with Irina anymore.
"What about Irina?" I whispered to Edward after a while.
"Irina isn't very pleased that we're coming, but the rest of them are fine with it. Irina knows that we won't be there permanently, so she shouldn't be difficult."
I was silent as I digested that.
"This driver is going so slow." Edward moaned under his breath.
I gasped when we reached the house. I had been expecting something like the Cullens house, but it was entirely different.
It was a large, 2 story, log home surrounded by forest. The wooden exterior seemed to be made of cedar. The rectangular windows had black shutters, matching the color of the door and roof. On one side of the house was a large turret, which made the house look like it was from medieval times. The yard was beautiful; the grass was deep green, surrounded by bunches of flowers. A short wall of rock surrounded the yard, breaking where a wooden path led from the gravel road to the cozy looking front porch. All together, it looked very majestic. To call this place a house was an insult. Castle seemed to be the right word.
"Wow." I breathed.
"It's pretty amazing, isn't it?" Edward said.
"Amazing." I repeated stupidly.
Edward tipped the shuttle driver, took our suite cases, and then we walked up the wooden path to the house. As Edward knocked on the door, I gulped.
"It'll be fine." He said, but I thought I heard a bit of doubt in his voice. I took a deep breath.
When someone opened the door I felt my lower jaw drop.
The woman who opened the door, who looked to be about nineteen or twenty, was gorgeous beyond belief. Her strawberry blonde hair fell in waves around her face, her golden eyes were perfectly almond shaped, and her lavender lips were full and perfect. Her skin was vampire pale. Her tight shirt and jeans emphasized her already perfect figure. She was almost as beautiful as Rosalie.
"Hi," She said pleasantly, "We've been expecting you," Then she turned to Edward "It's nice to see you again, Edward." Her tone was full of adoration as she tried to flirt with him. I felt a surge of jealousy run through me. I looked at Edward to see his reaction. His face was emotionless.
"It's nice to see you, too, Tanya." Edward's voice was polite, but I thought I heard an edge of annoyance in his tone.
Tanya seemed to pick it up, too. She turned to me.
"And you must be the future vampire, Isabella Swan. Well, according to Esme, you're now Isabella Cullen." She glanced at Edward, disappointment in her eyes, but quickly turned back to me.
"Bella." I corrected, my tone acidic.
"Well, why don't you come inside?" She gestured inside, moving aside so Edward and I get through.
"Thank you." Edward said as we walked in, his tone unchanged. I wondered what he could hear her thinking, and I guessed that I probably didn't want to know.
The inside of the house was shocking as well. I had been expecting the front room to be huge like at the Cullens house, but it was exactly the opposite. Instead, it was small and cozy. Two, comfortable looking couches sat against opposite walls with a wooden coffee table between them and a large fireplace, which seemed to have never been used, took up the space on the wall facing us. Across from the front room was a small staircase.
"You can put your suite cases there." Tanya told Edward, pointing to the floor next to the coffee table. While Edward put our suite cases down, Tanya walked to the bottom of the stairs.
"Kate, Carmen, Eleazar, Irina, come down. Our guests have arrived." Tanya said, her voice as quiet as if they were standing right in front of her.
Suddenly, three people were standing next to Tanya. Two were female and the other was male.
The first girl seemed very excited when she saw Edward and I. Her hair was light brown and cut short, about an inch above her shoulders. She was tall and very thin, but didn't have much of a figure. The second girl, who held the boy's hand, had long black hair. She was very tall, with long legs. Though her skin was albino white, she had Hispanic features. The boy, too, had Hispanic features despite his pale skin. His height was average and his black hair was very short.
"Where's Irina?" Tanya asked them.
"She said she doesn't want to see them." The brown haired girl said, her happy mood disappearing.
"I'm so sorry. She's still upset about Laurent's death." She spoke to Edward mostly, but glanced at me when she said Laurent's name.
"I understand." Edward said politely.
Tanya then looked at me and saw my confused expression.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you didn't know. This is Carmen," She pointed to the girl with long black hair, "and Eleazar," She pointed to the black haired boy, "They're married, by the way."
"Pleased to meet you, Isabella." Carmen said as she stretched her arm across the small space between us and shook my hand.
"Bella." I corrected again. It felt like my first day of school, except it was another house full of vampires instead of a school full of kids.
"Bella." She repeated, smiling beautifully. Eleazar smiled, too.
"And this is Katrina." Tanya continued, pointing to the brown haired girl, whose hyper mood had returned. She skipped gracefully to me and took my hand.
"Call me Kate." She said cheerfully as she shook my hand. She reminded me of Alice, only taller.
As Kate walked back to take her place next to Carmen, Tanya walked over to our suite cases and picked them up.
"I'll show you to your room." She said. She started up the stairs at human speed, so I could catch up, I guessed. Edward and I followed.
"I hope you're okay with sharing a bedroom. If the rest of the Cullens are coming, we'll need to leave room for them." Tanya said as we walked down a long hallway.
"That'll be fine." Edward assured her.
Our bedroom was at the end of the hallway. Somehow, Tanya opened the door while holding both of our suitcases. When we entered, I repressed a sigh. Tanya's family, too, had bought a bed for me. It was large, with metal posts painted white. The covers and pillows were white, too.
The room was very large. The floors were wooden. The ceiling and walls were white. The walls were empty except for the large bay window that faced the west. The sky outside was very dark.
"Do you like it?" Tanya asked us.
"It's wonderful." I said.
"It's great. Thank you so much for your hospitality." Edward said.
"Any time," Tanya replied, "Are you hungry, Bella? We bought you some food." She asked me.
"Yeah, sure. Thanks."
"Alright, then. I'll let you two unpack." She said. Then she left the room.
"What was that about?" I asked when I thought Tanya was out of earshot.
"What was what about?" Edward asked innocently.
"You know-Tanya. I saw how she looked at you. I thought you told her you weren't interested."
"I did. But, apparently, she still has feelings for me despite what I told her," He took in my expression-which I tried to control, but to no prevail-and he smiled, "Are you jealous?"
"No, I'm not jealous. I was just curious." I said too quickly. I blushed. Edward walked over to me and put his arms around me.
"Bella, there is no need for you to be jealous. You are the only one I've ever loved and ever will love. My heart will always be yours as long as you want it, and no one will ever change that."
I sighed and laid my head against his chest.
"I know." I whispered.
I felt Edward lean his head down and kiss my hair. I reached my face up and my lips found his and we kissed. Even though I believed him, I still felt a little jealous. In fact, one part of me wanted Tanya to enter the room and find Edward and I this way.
Hopefully, she'd get a clue and back off. I crushed myself against his body and put more enthusiasm into the kiss. Apparently too much enthusiasm, because, all too soon, Edward pulled away. I tried to force my lips back to his, but he restrained me.
"Bella…" He said, shaking his head.
"I don't care." I said, still struggling to kiss him again, though I knew it was hopeless.
"Well you should." He said.
I didn't say anything.
"Let's get you something to eat." Edward said as he began to lead me to the door.
Though I knew it was ridiculous, I felt depressed that he hadn't continued to kiss me. I felt that the reason was because he didn't want me, though I knew the real reason; he craved my blood as the scent of it screamed at him. I was his 'La tua cantante' or 'his singer' as Aro from the Volturi had put it. But I knew that my blood wouldn't be a temptation to him for much longer.